Closing the Door and Cutting the Ribbon: Closing Ceremonies for 2020 and Opening Ceremonies for 2021

You know, I love Halloween, I love secular Christmas, but maybe it might be true that my truly favorite holiday is the New Year. I need the time of pause between Christmas and the New Year. I need the reflection of looking back. I need quiet time for deep consideration of values and roots prior to the leaning forward. 

So I want to share several sources I'm tapping into for my own reflection, intention-setting, and rhythm-creation moving forward.

Opening ceremonies & closing ceremonies episode at The Lazy Genius podcast - I'm loving the idea that I can create opening & closing ceremonies, which is language I've adopted from the Lazy Genius. The concept of Lazy Genius is about being a Genius about the things that matter TO YOU and Lazy about that things that DO NOT MATTER TO YOU. I love that on both ends. I'm giving myself even more permission and time to close 2020 for myself and to create a way to open 2021 that feels good to me.

Power & Healing - Conversation for Igniting a Communal Practice of Radical Rest and Healing with Rev. angel Kyodo williams, Dr. Joi Lewis, Dr. Leticia Nieto and Resmaa Menakem - I am listening to this and find it so valuable (you can donate to Movement Voter Fund's Georgia Fund and get a link to the video). It centers the Black-led lineage of practice of rest as a source of healing -- "Justice is our healing and our rest" -- such as The Nap Bishop and the Nap Ministry which says rest is resistance against capitalism and white supremacy. (Did you know you can call the Nap Ministry's Luv Naps hotline to hear a new message every Tuesday? 1-833-LUV-NAPS -- and you can support the Nap Bishop Tricia Hersey on Patreon here) And, in the Power & Healing conversation you can sing with Dr. Leticia Nieto!

Year Compass - from the website: YearCompass is a free booklet that helps you reflect on the year and plan the next one. With a set of carefully selected questions and exercises, YearCompass helps you uncover your own patterns and design the ideal year for yourself. This year's includes a Pandemic Supplement focused on three specific areas: confronting the loss of control, taking stock of the profoundly changed daily life, and assessing the health of your social circle. This was shared in a Facebook group I'm in. I like the look-back that is the basis and beginning of this reflection and planning tool.

New Year Planning Guide from Mariposa Strategies, with great reflection questions, which you can download and start when you're ready. - Buy the creator Annie Sanchez a coffee here "to keep the work fueled and scrappy!" This was also shared in a Facebook group I'm in. I am going to use it as an iterative tool for reflection and planning. 

I use the Passion Planner, which has free downloadable Road Map and Reflection worksheets here which are also in the printed planners. I love the monthly reflection as one element of a rhythm of regular reflection and choicefulness. Passion Planner also shares this blog post on Mindful Passion Planner Ideas: How to Use Memory Planning to Positively Impact Your Mental Health  

I participated in a vision board workshop with Taina M. Brown and uncovered 5 values I think I want to be grounded in for 2021. I have some ideas about using moon phases and earth cycles (which are both reflected in this beautiful calendar I have just put up on my wall) to create consistent rhythms that help me be present with myself, to check in with myself in connection with natural cycles. I'm not sharing any specifics on any of this because it's in a larval phase and will likely shift both before and during the New Year. 

 

Behold the POWER of the human woman body!

I created this list to recommend resources that were great for me in pregnancy, labor and birth, and early parenting.

The recommendations below are sort of in chronological order of when I recommend using them during the pregnancy, birth, and baby experience.

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith Small
This book is GREAT! From an evolutionary biology perspective and an ethnopediatric approach, it is a cross-cultural examination of parenting norms regarding baby and parent sleep, baby eating, and baby crying. It re-calibrated my sense of what is and has been normal for humans. It's in the top 5 of my recommended books in this list.

Prenatal Yoga With Shiva Rea DVD ~ Shiva Rea
I used this DVD alot and recommend it. With modifications for all 3 trimesters performed by people in those trimesters, it has lots of hip-openers and side stretches to prepare for birth and to open up parts that get kind of smashed together as the body adjusts to the baby inside. It does, however, require a regular dining-room chair or folding chair to do some of the poses correctly, especially as you get larger, and The Lounge doesn't have any regular chairs.

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by CNM, MA, Pam England
My partner and I took a 6-week class from a teacher certified in these methods and it was a great psychological preparation. The book is full of insights and exercises--mental & psychological, with an art component. It also had info on the role of doulas in helping women have great birth experiences: shorter labors and fewer interventions. The class, like the book, included visualizations and drawings, as well as practicing pain coping techniques using ice cubes and techniques & role-plays to deal with hospital staff.

Our Birthing From Within Keepsake Journal by Pam England
The Birthing From Within class used this journal as a workbook.

HypBirth: Natural Childbirth Preparation Kit (DVD) - by HypBirth
I so strongly recommend this. This is the CD series that I used to learn triggered relaxation techniques. With these techniques, facilitated by my fabulous doula, I had a peaceful, powerful, wonderful birth experience during which I was focused and physically relaxed. I recommend this higher than anything else, especially used in concert with a doula or other labor support person trained in facilitating these techniques. A really big plus is that I used these techniques before and after Jack was born to trigger my relaxation and be able to go to sleep really quickly, which is valuable to a tired pregnant woman and an exhausted new mother with only 2 hours to sleep before the next feeding. Here are the benefits listed by the author, all of which were true for me: * Minimize pain dramatically during labor and birth. * Produce a faster and easier delivery. Reduce the need for an episiotomy. * Enhance comfort and sleep in your pregnancy. * 80% of all clients give birth in less than six hours, including first time moms.

Active Birth : The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally, Revised Edition by Janet Balaskas
This book was just what I was looking for. It has lots of pictures and diagrams of women using various positions to give birth. It also has a great illustration of all the muscles that are involved in the abdomen and pelvis--stretching from chest to knee--that was quite inspiring to me as a tool to envision my own power in birthing. I copied many images from this book to use on my "labor poster" as reference points. Great book. Includes specific pieces written for labor partners about how to physically support a laboring woman in positions kneeling or squatting; and it has a section on positions for water births.

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
This book is organized by intervention; so, a chapter on Cesearean birth, a chapter on induction, etc, from mild interventions like IVs to the big ones. Each intervention is discussed in medical detail, including possible benefits, possible risks, and suggested questions to ask if a medical professional suggests a specific intervention. Super useful and something that I tagged with sticky notes and brought with me to the hospital in my birth bag. Didn't end up referring to it because I had a fabulous birth, but I was glad to have the information. It did, however, freak me out a bit.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Ina May Gaskin is a famous midwife who has attended over 1000 births. She has written for midwives; this book is for birthing women. Half of the book is birth stories, which are great to read to counteract our stupid culture's "Oh My God! It's my first contraction! Let's run to the hospital immediately and lay still for hours!" mentality. Ina May is also very body-oriented and brings a great earthiness to her writing and advice.

The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition by Kathleen Huggins
I didn't read this book, but I did get a pamphlet with an excerpt of the "surviving the first 2 weeks" section and it was really really useful. So I bet getting the whole book and reading it BEFORE attempting sleep-deprived breastfeeding with a floppy hungry baby would be a really good idea.

The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD) DVD ~ Dr. Harvey Karp
We watched this moments after we brought Jack home from the hospital. These techniques were ones we used many times a day to help Jack be calm, which is a state in which babies can observe, sense, and learn the most. We believe in not letting babies cry and responding quickly to their needs and this DVD taught us how to implement those beliefs. Very Very Good.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley
This book has great, scientifically valid methods to track baby wake-ups to see patterns and then specific suggestions to help babies learn to put themselves back to sleep. Written from an attachment parenting perspective and very tender about the sweetness of sleeping babies. It's written for sleep-deprived people to read easily.

What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot
This was a great book my mother-in-law got me. It's fascinating and gives scientific developmental info about brain development; recommends similar things to what many attachment parenting books recommend but with indepth research & info backing it up: infant massage and lots of parent-baby skin contact & touching, breastfeeding, vestibular stimulation, etc.

Infant Massage--Revised Edition: A Handbook for Loving Parents by Vimala Schneider Mcclure
This was a great book that was more in-depth than I could really take in, but it's a good information set. I still use these techniques with Jack. Loving touch and skin-to-skin contact is really important for healthy infant development.

Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk, New Edition by Linda Acredolo
This book includes a visual dictionary of baby signs (some ASL, some altered to be easier for small folks with poor fine motor skills) AND--my favorite thing--a series of poems and songs listing corresponding signs. Jack's favorite is "Butterfly Wings."

My First Baby Signs by Linda Acredolo
Here's one of a series of board books with pictures of babies doing baby signs and written directions for parents, along with pictures of the thing itself--ball, baby, cat, dog, etc. There are other books in this series including Animals, Bedtime (which is GREAT as part of our bedtime routine), Mealtime, and others.

Our Wishes for Childbirth (My Birth Plan)

(This is what I wrote based on examples on the interweb plus conversations and thinking. I reviewed it with my midwife who provided prenatal care and with my doula, and then I had 5 copies in my birthbag to give to everyone who attended the birth.)

Mother-to-be: me
Husband: Bill

Doula: Hillary
Support Person: Denise (birth prep teacher, Birthing From Within)

Due Date 5/4/06

Pre-Natal Care Provider: Kerry McCabe, CNM


To our Healthcare Providers:

Thank you for taking the time and attention to work with us and our birth preferences. We have discussed this set of birth preferences fully with Kerry McCabe. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot and should not be followed. However, we hope that barring any emergency circumstances you will be able to keep us informed and aware of our options.

I am really excited about having a natural, medication-free, intervention-free birth.
We’ve done our best to educate and prepare ourselves to use relaxation & breathing techniques as well as a variety of labor and birth positions. We’ll be attended by our birth prep teacher as well as our doula. Please don’t offer me drugs or an epidural—I won’t forget they exist and I will ask for one if I feel I need it. I would like to be feel unrestricted in my mobility and in accessing any sounds I might need to make during labor. I am hoping to protect my perineum & am preparing by doing lots of Kegels & planning tear prevention techniques—I would prefer to have no episiotomy and risk tearing. Throughout labor, please encourage me in whatever position I am trying.

When the baby crowns, I’d like to see it in a mirror and touch with my hand. We would like for Bill Curry to catch the baby. When the baby is born, please delay all procedures (testing, washing, eye medication, etc) until after the bonding and breastfeeding period. Please put my baby skin-to-skin with me, with a warm blanket on us, and do the APGAR tests there if possible. When the cord has stopped pulsing, we would like Bill Curry to cut it. We intend to breastfeed exclusively; please no separation, bottles, or pacifiers.

Thank you for your skills and your support!







Expanded wishes:

Labor & Environment:
 Vaginal exams: minimal or at my request
 Monitoring: intermittent & external
 IV: not unless medically necessary
 Membranes: spontaneous rupture
 Dim lights
 Music
 My own clothes
 Quiet voices
 Mobility & frequent position changes, including with a birth ball
 Eat and drink to comfort
 Relaxation techniques (breath awareness, non-focused awareness, other BFW techniques, vocalization or co-chanting, shower, heat & cold packs, massage, aromatherapy, hypbirth techniques
 Photographs by our doula and us
 Glasses on the whole time

Cesarean birth
 If a Cesarean birth is not an emergency, please give us time alone to think about it before asking for our consent.
 My husband and support folks are to be present at all times during the operation.
 Ideally, I’d like to be conscious during the procedure, would like to view the emergence of the baby, and would like to have my hands free to touch the baby.
 I would like the baby to be shown to me immediately after it’s born and to have skin-to-skin contact with the baby as soon as possible. If I can’t hold the baby immediately, he/she should be given to Bill Curry immediately upon birth.
 I prefer a low transverse incision on my abdomen and uterus.

Cesarean birth recovery:
 If my baby is healthy, I would like to have skin-to-skin contact with my baby and nurse him/her immediately in recovery.
 Please discuss with me what I can expect to feel immediately following the procedure.
 Please discuss my post-operative pain medication options with me before or immediately following the procedure.

Episiotomy/Perineum Care:
 I don’t want an episiotomy.
 To prevent tearing:
o Hot compresses
o Oil
o Perineal massage
o Encourage me to breathe properly for slower crowning

Second Stage Labor:
 I want to try many different positions for labor:
o Squatting
o Hands and knees
o On the toilet
o Standing
o Side lying
o Leaning
o Whatever feels like it’s working
 No stirrups please
 Spontaneous pushing & no time limit on pushing unless emergency
 I would really like to see the baby crowning in a mirror & I’d like to touch the baby’s head when it crowns.

Delivery & Baby Care:
 We would like Bill Curry to catch the baby.
 Please delay all procedures (testing, washing, eye medication, etc) until after the bonding and breastfeeding period.
 Please put my baby skin-to-skin with me, with a warm blanket on us, and do the APGAR tests there if possible.
 When the cord has stopped pulsing, we would like Bill Curry to cut it.
 I would like to hold/breasfeed the baby while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made. I don’t want pitocin to deliver the placenta. I would like to see the placenta after I deliver it.
 We intend to breastfeed exclusively; please no separation, bottles, or pacifiers.
 Immunizations: please delay until a later time.
 If our baby has any problems, we would like to have Bill Curry be present with the baby at all times if possible. If the baby is transported, we’d like to be moved as soon as possible. If the baby’s health is in jeopardy, I’d like to breastfeed or express milk/colostrums for our baby.
 We’d like to photograph and videotape the birth.



Again, thank you very much for your skills and your support.

getting started

I'm doing it! I'm hopping into the blogosphere after thinking about it, experimenting, and of course researching. Now it's official.

I've just been reading all about how and why to start a blog. Step 1: set goals--what do I want out of my blog in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years? Step 2: know my audience. Step 3: be consistent.

Well, I am thinking of blogging for several reasons: as a place to exercise and sharpen my writing skills in my own voice, where I don't have to be "on message" work; as a place to exercise and sharpen my analysis skills on issues and topics I care about; as a way to stay in touch with people I'd like to talk to more (although that's really up to them, if the way I do it is just by writing); and as a way to explore and go on the record about topics and issues that matter to me: feminism, social justice, anti-racism, parenting, partnering, working motherhood, social justice organizing, transformational education, natural birth, pregnancy and birth education as a transformational experience, food as a connection to the earth, earth-based spirituality, the end of the world ['s social and economic power arrangement] as we know it. It's also a creative outlet and I hope I can use it to connect various forms of my creative expression: crochet, cooking, sewing, photos and how they're displayed/shared, words and images on clothing, and maybe others that could develop. I want to connect with others who share those interests and I want to share resources when I have them. I want to explore possibilities for future work in areas I'm passionate about. And I hope it won't be too burdensome or difficult to maintain appropriate boundaries between this blog, my work life, and my personal life. These are my initial goals. Plus, I would not at all mind even a minor supplemental income. How's that for lofty?

Thinking of "my audience" takes some imagining. Me, my close friends, my family. Other organizers, birth fans, parents, feminists, crafters, pagans.

Be consistent? Is it gonna matter if I have more than 1, more than 3, more than 5 interests that I write about? It's all connected as far as I'm concerned. It will be good discipline and practice to make those threads appropriately explicit to tie it together for those who may read. And I have no idea at this point of how frequently I'll be able to write and post. As mama to the toddler monster, free time is freakin' scarce. Is once a month just too lame to bother? Good thing my audience is me!

Well, I'm all full of creative energy right now and it feels good. We'll have to see what happens next.