Seven gloss-free ways to be happier in 2013

In the grocery store I was drawn to my favorite glossy women's magazine, which promised advice on “ways to be happier” in the coming year. I didn't buy it. At this point I know that this magazine consists almost exclusively of lists of lists, with the same advice over and over in different permutations.

I'm pretty sure I'm just as qualified to offer advice as anyone who publishes them on glossy paper. So, here you are: my advice to myself and the three other people who might read this, looking ahead to the new year.

Muddle through. 

Deal with stuff directly, even--especially--the stuff that scares you. Have those conversations you dread or feel anxious--and don't expect yourself to do it perfectly. Too many hours of preparation can just increase your anxiety or mean that you never get around to the actual conversation! And don't expect yourself to take a sharp turn in a relationship or fix it all in that one conversation. Just take one little step to deal with what's in front of you.

Know your bottom lines and be honest, but start with questions and listening. This, I think, is the basic advice of a book recommended to me by a friend who knows some of the challenges I had this year, Difficult Conversations. I think this is the advice because I haven't gotten past the first chapter yet. But it's my advice to myself anyway, for quick prep.

Getting Full Nourishment By Not Getting Too Much

On a facilitation note, I got my weekly "Master Facilitator" email on "The practice of getting full nourishment from everything in your life" which focuses on judiciously taking in information or experiences or things rather than gulping and overdoing it. Topical, no? Here's how it applies to working as an educator or facilitator:

As a facilitator, observe closely and resist the desire to pile on just "one more" experience to make sure your groups get their money's worth. Make sure that the desired outcomes of each activity and experience are evident to you and the participants before moving on. And, if you dare, stop before you are faced with a sea of bobbing heads with glazed eyes trying to take that one more step together.