Atheists and Allies

Circuitously, I saw the link to this piece on how to be an ally with atheists. I posted a short comment there:

I had a great experience in a social justice training where I shared my experience of exclusion as an atheist child in a very Christian community in the form of being silent during "under god" of the Pledge of Allegiance. Afterward, a participant who is my colleague and also is a minister came to me and told me it had been a life-changing moment. He told me "I said to God 'God, I'm in the room with atheists.' And God said, 'You're right where you're supposed to be.'" And it really made me cry.

And I want to say more about that here. That moment was so powerful to me because it's so the opposite of many many many experiences with religious people:

Getting Full Nourishment By Not Getting Too Much

On a facilitation note, I got my weekly "Master Facilitator" email on "The practice of getting full nourishment from everything in your life" which focuses on judiciously taking in information or experiences or things rather than gulping and overdoing it. Topical, no? Here's how it applies to working as an educator or facilitator:

As a facilitator, observe closely and resist the desire to pile on just "one more" experience to make sure your groups get their money's worth. Make sure that the desired outcomes of each activity and experience are evident to you and the participants before moving on. And, if you dare, stop before you are faced with a sea of bobbing heads with glazed eyes trying to take that one more step together.

Take the Boy to Work Day

Here's Jack at work with mama, from Wednesday August 6, 2008. He carried his first picket sign!

We got back to town just in time to be part of a coordinated picket at 34 Catholic Healthcare West hospitals all over CA, to pressure management to behave at the bargaining table.

When he asked, "What dose guys doin'?" I told him we were there to help our friends tell the hospital management to listen, share, and cooperate, and be fair.

Breastfeeding and Social Justice are Good Friends

"Last year, CDC researchers found black infants are twice as likely as white infants to be premature or underweight, or to die before their first birthdays."

WTF??

That fact is from this article at Women's ENews. In addition, the article includes a couple examples of hospitals who are becoming certified "baby friendly" in an effort to encourage breastfeeding initiation particularly among African American women. One hospital even chose to pay $20,000 a year to buy formula instead of receiving it for free along with "baby welcome bags" with free samples of formula that are distributed to all new moms. That is impressive to me; that's real commitment to health.

Why increase breastfeeding to reduce infant mortality?

Jay Smooth, instructor

So I love to read Racialicious, a blog "about the intersection of race and pop culture." I met the founder at the WAM conference earlier this year, and it was in her workshop that I finally caught on to one of the most important reasons why there are so many discussions of pop culture in blogs that deal with race and anti-racism, gender and feminism, etc. It's because it provides a common language and reference point! Duh, but I didn't get it until I heard Carmen say it. Before that, I just thought, why pay so much attention to something I don't want to encourage? And I still mostly think that in terms of my own pie of attention--very small slices go to pop culture. But I really do think it's important to be literate in pop culture as a strategy for effective communication.

Anyway, on Racialicious last week I saw this piece by Jay Smooth on "How to Tell People They Sound Racist" and thought it was great. I sort of also "got" vlogging when I saw it--I think it was my first vlog. I sent it to everyone in my department at work, and really wanted to include it here. His point is critical, again, as a strategy for effective communication: talk about what people DO--don't theorize about what they ARE. I totally agree. Because I don't want to argue about your identity. I just sometimes need to point out the crap you said.

I wish I knew how to embed a youtube link so it's watchable from here, but I'm a beginner blogger, and that's intermediate. I am not there yet!

As usual, I missed the pop culture stimululus, but I appreciate the discussion

I'm on vacation and checking out some blogs during a brief interlude when I'm not on childcare duty. Found this on BlogHer, a very good discussion of white people using the "n-word" which includes the best attempt I've seen to find an analogous word for white people:

Back to the word redneck. What if a white person of the so-called "upper" class who had never been poor, never in a position to be called "poor white trash" were to call another white person who did grow up poor and struggling a redneck. Would the person who had been called that name laugh with him/her sincerely? Unlikely. I'm talking ordinary people here, not spiritual gurus.

And the post ends on this simple note:

So, bottom line for me, use of the "n" word when it comes to whites who want to use it has nothing to do with what black people feel free enough to call themselves within "the family." Ask yourselves, as Laina suggested in her post, "Why do you as a white person want to say the word at all?" The answer should scare you.

I feel like this post supplied me with some great examples, lines, arguments for a conversation with a person I hope I don't have to talk to on this vacation.

Behold the POWER of the human woman body!

I created this list to recommend resources that were great for me in pregnancy, labor and birth, and early parenting.

The recommendations below are sort of in chronological order of when I recommend using them during the pregnancy, birth, and baby experience.

Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith Small
This book is GREAT! From an evolutionary biology perspective and an ethnopediatric approach, it is a cross-cultural examination of parenting norms regarding baby and parent sleep, baby eating, and baby crying. It re-calibrated my sense of what is and has been normal for humans. It's in the top 5 of my recommended books in this list.

Prenatal Yoga With Shiva Rea DVD ~ Shiva Rea
I used this DVD alot and recommend it. With modifications for all 3 trimesters performed by people in those trimesters, it has lots of hip-openers and side stretches to prepare for birth and to open up parts that get kind of smashed together as the body adjusts to the baby inside. It does, however, require a regular dining-room chair or folding chair to do some of the poses correctly, especially as you get larger, and The Lounge doesn't have any regular chairs.

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by CNM, MA, Pam England
My partner and I took a 6-week class from a teacher certified in these methods and it was a great psychological preparation. The book is full of insights and exercises--mental & psychological, with an art component. It also had info on the role of doulas in helping women have great birth experiences: shorter labors and fewer interventions. The class, like the book, included visualizations and drawings, as well as practicing pain coping techniques using ice cubes and techniques & role-plays to deal with hospital staff.

Our Birthing From Within Keepsake Journal by Pam England
The Birthing From Within class used this journal as a workbook.

HypBirth: Natural Childbirth Preparation Kit (DVD) - by HypBirth
I so strongly recommend this. This is the CD series that I used to learn triggered relaxation techniques. With these techniques, facilitated by my fabulous doula, I had a peaceful, powerful, wonderful birth experience during which I was focused and physically relaxed. I recommend this higher than anything else, especially used in concert with a doula or other labor support person trained in facilitating these techniques. A really big plus is that I used these techniques before and after Jack was born to trigger my relaxation and be able to go to sleep really quickly, which is valuable to a tired pregnant woman and an exhausted new mother with only 2 hours to sleep before the next feeding. Here are the benefits listed by the author, all of which were true for me: * Minimize pain dramatically during labor and birth. * Produce a faster and easier delivery. Reduce the need for an episiotomy. * Enhance comfort and sleep in your pregnancy. * 80% of all clients give birth in less than six hours, including first time moms.

Active Birth : The New Approach to Giving Birth Naturally, Revised Edition by Janet Balaskas
This book was just what I was looking for. It has lots of pictures and diagrams of women using various positions to give birth. It also has a great illustration of all the muscles that are involved in the abdomen and pelvis--stretching from chest to knee--that was quite inspiring to me as a tool to envision my own power in birthing. I copied many images from this book to use on my "labor poster" as reference points. Great book. Includes specific pieces written for labor partners about how to physically support a laboring woman in positions kneeling or squatting; and it has a section on positions for water births.

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
This book is organized by intervention; so, a chapter on Cesearean birth, a chapter on induction, etc, from mild interventions like IVs to the big ones. Each intervention is discussed in medical detail, including possible benefits, possible risks, and suggested questions to ask if a medical professional suggests a specific intervention. Super useful and something that I tagged with sticky notes and brought with me to the hospital in my birth bag. Didn't end up referring to it because I had a fabulous birth, but I was glad to have the information. It did, however, freak me out a bit.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Ina May Gaskin is a famous midwife who has attended over 1000 births. She has written for midwives; this book is for birthing women. Half of the book is birth stories, which are great to read to counteract our stupid culture's "Oh My God! It's my first contraction! Let's run to the hospital immediately and lay still for hours!" mentality. Ina May is also very body-oriented and brings a great earthiness to her writing and advice.

The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition by Kathleen Huggins
I didn't read this book, but I did get a pamphlet with an excerpt of the "surviving the first 2 weeks" section and it was really really useful. So I bet getting the whole book and reading it BEFORE attempting sleep-deprived breastfeeding with a floppy hungry baby would be a really good idea.

The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD) DVD ~ Dr. Harvey Karp
We watched this moments after we brought Jack home from the hospital. These techniques were ones we used many times a day to help Jack be calm, which is a state in which babies can observe, sense, and learn the most. We believe in not letting babies cry and responding quickly to their needs and this DVD taught us how to implement those beliefs. Very Very Good.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley
This book has great, scientifically valid methods to track baby wake-ups to see patterns and then specific suggestions to help babies learn to put themselves back to sleep. Written from an attachment parenting perspective and very tender about the sweetness of sleeping babies. It's written for sleep-deprived people to read easily.

What's Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Lise Eliot
This was a great book my mother-in-law got me. It's fascinating and gives scientific developmental info about brain development; recommends similar things to what many attachment parenting books recommend but with indepth research & info backing it up: infant massage and lots of parent-baby skin contact & touching, breastfeeding, vestibular stimulation, etc.

Infant Massage--Revised Edition: A Handbook for Loving Parents by Vimala Schneider Mcclure
This was a great book that was more in-depth than I could really take in, but it's a good information set. I still use these techniques with Jack. Loving touch and skin-to-skin contact is really important for healthy infant development.

Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk, New Edition by Linda Acredolo
This book includes a visual dictionary of baby signs (some ASL, some altered to be easier for small folks with poor fine motor skills) AND--my favorite thing--a series of poems and songs listing corresponding signs. Jack's favorite is "Butterfly Wings."

My First Baby Signs by Linda Acredolo
Here's one of a series of board books with pictures of babies doing baby signs and written directions for parents, along with pictures of the thing itself--ball, baby, cat, dog, etc. There are other books in this series including Animals, Bedtime (which is GREAT as part of our bedtime routine), Mealtime, and others.