After reflecting on Perfectionism, Culture of Urgency, and other Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture (by Jones & Okun), here are some strategies I’ve learned help when my internalized white supremacy culture gets loud in my head.
Nature – taking a walk always helps me.
Relationship Before Task – I do my best to orient myself toward relationship-building prior to task and relationship as a higher priority than any task.
Self-Compassion – as a recovering perfectionist, self-compassion is essential. It allows me the possibility of leaning into discomfort. Self-Compassion and leaning into discomfort are the right and left feet of my walk of growth.
Brave & Awkward; Clear is Kind – yes I am a white woman quoting @BreneBrown! Learning to tolerate feeling awkward has been a major shift. My perfectionism used tell me not to say anything I wasn’t sure was "the right way" to say it. I've learned from workshops on how to challenge oppressive statements or behavior and from role models who have dared to state their feelings. Now I can sometimes say, “I feel awkward and I need to say this anyway.” Awkwardness can become a superpower when used responsibly and not in ways that require emotional labor by BIPOC folks. And, instead of trying to be “nice” I can try to communicate clearly as a way of being kind and respectful – that’s a major shift that helps me unlearn internalized misogyny.
Rest – I had no idea how deeply I needed @TheNapMinistry: rest is resistance against grind culture, capitalism, and white supremacy. None of us need to earn rest. When I had a debilitating back injury I read her post every day: “Naps offer the space to heal, imagine, and invent. To navigate these times from a rested state is radical. To slow down and allow our souls and minds to receive the imaginative and inventive thinking necessary to create a liberated future, will save us.” Go give money to @TheNapMinistry!
Very long view of history – I’ll do the best I can manage to do, continuing the work of generations before me and laying another layer of foundation for the generations after me.
Curiosity – With self-awareness and respect, curiosity is key to learning and growth.
